Friday, October 27, 2006

Wardrobe malfunction

A couple months ago I posted about being excited for my first ever costume Halloween party (my friends in college were anti-costume). And it's already arrived, the schindig is tomorrow night. I bought the pink fairy costume. It's really cute and it's PINK! Yeah, baby.

So I tried it on. The black part around the middle is an over skirt. The pink tulle crap below the black is an under skirt. The over and under skirts are NOT connected. Meaning - the underskirt is see-through since it's tulle, and doesn't start until 4 inches below the bottom of my butt, which is barely covered by the black.

Let me tell you why this is a problem. If I were to sit down or be shakin' my booty (it is a dance party, after all) enough for the black part to shimmy up it's fullness (yeah, I got a ghetto booty) - then my ass is on display. Elisabeth has dubbed me the Ass Flasher.

So I must find a way to cover my bum from any potential ass-flashiness. Particularly since I will be enjoying a healthy amount of jungle juice. Which, by the way, I will spiking my cup with my flask of Everclear because the boys who make this jungle juice are softies and make it weak. They use one bottle of Everclear for an entire Coleman cooler of juice. That's like 1/10 of an ounce per plastic cup. But the fact I could drink those boys under the table is neither here nor there.

I found a pair of knee high boots for $3.25 at a second hand store. Hoorah! I really wanted to wear fishnet stockings. I never have and why not whore it up a little? It's Halloween. But, if the Ass Flashing happens then the fishnets will do nothing to cover. So I may have to get black tights. LAME-O. Ugh. At least if my bum escapes the black pleather while I'm dancing and I'm too inebriated to notice, I won't blind the other party-goers.

But now I have to find tights. Double ugh. And the black and pink wig I got for the costume ain't cuttin' it so I have to try and scour the remaining Halloween costume items in stores, elbow grabby moms in my way and trip annoying kids running around my ankles, to find a solid black wig. Triple ugh. I need to remember to fill my pink 6 oz. flask with Everclear. I better make a list!

And the Duck football game tomorrow (Go Ducks!) got moved from 12:30 to 4pm start time (that games are usually 4 hours). The game is an hour south of me (with football traffic on top of that) and the party is an hour north of me (start time of 9pm). Hopefully I can sleep in the car after the game on the way back to my house then hall balls trying to get ready.

I totally forgot the point of this post because I rambled and whined. Oh well. It's Friday. What do you have going on this weekend? Are you dressing up for Halloween or going to any parties?

And if I don't look like a giant, pink freak - I'll post a picture of me in my get-up.

5 comments:

Paty Jager said...

I would love to see a pic of you in that get-up! I used to love Halloween and dressing up, both me and the kids, but as we age we mellow. Last year I begrudgingly went to a Halloween party with my dh. It was the longest night of my life! Well almost!

My celebrating this year is my book singing tomorrow! Yeah!

Have a good one!

OH! I'm assuming you are riding with someone to the game since you plan to sleep on the way home????

Elisabeth Naughton said...

SOLUTION - Skip the duck-is-yuck game. They're going to lose anyway.

I can't WAIT to see a pic of you in that costume!

I'm going to a Halloween Party tomorrow as well - begrudgingly. I am so NOT happy about this. Costumes are stupid. Halloween is a dumb holiday, and I hate dressing up. If there were a bah-humbug for this holiday, it'd be me.

BTW, the DH's boss is skipping this particular party in order to go to the Duck game. In this ONE instance, I think he's right on (not the duck game part, just the skipping the party part). It's the lesser of two evils, really: duck game or halloween party?

Unknown said...

That is super cute and I can't wait to see a pic of you in it!

Hey, leggings are easy to find right now. That would be perfect under the costume!

Princess in Galoshes said...

Fish nets are necessary! I hope you found a way to incorporate them, somehow, even if it meant black granny panties to minimize ass-flashing-potential.

Lisa Pulliam said...

Paty - How did your booksigning go? I hope you post some pictures! And yes, I rode with someone to the game ;-) My family.

Eli - Duck-is-yuck? Ok, I'll let that slide since I said you were a sinner for being a Beaver fan, lol. I can't believe your dh's boss got away with skipping the party for a game against PSU. Did you see the final score? It was a blow-out.

Lillian - I got tights that were supposed to be a size bigger than me. But they felt like a freaking size smaller! Ugh!

Piper - I went to JC Penney's but couldn't find the sticky thigh-highs. But I found some tights. And my dad picked me up. He's so awesome, he drove 45 minutes at 3 a.m. to get me. I'm so lucky to have great parents.

S William - Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I'm going to giggle about that all day.

Amanda - Yeah, there was some ass flashing. Dumb swing dancing. Ugh. At least I wore tights and I was too drunk to care.

Princess - I didn't get the fishnets. I should have, but I wussed out. Next year it will be fishnets all the way!