Critique partners

Lately I've been thinking a lot about critique partners. It seems that most successful writers as well as the aspiring authors that I know have critique partners, good ones. I keep seeing workshops by critique partners who are also best friends or blogs shared by CPs. The CP relationship, at least the ones that work out, seem to be a strong bond and friendship.

How does one go about finding CPs that fit well with your needs and strengths? Many of the CPs I've seen met online and live in different parts of the country. How do they meet? Loop postings looking for CPs? Onling critique services? Meeting at conferences? Through contests?

Once you have found someone who may be a good fit for a CP, how do you foster that relationship? What are the unwritten rules for CPs?

I've shared critiques with a couple of fantastic women I've met online. But it hasn't taken off becuase we didn't have things to share at the same time, or life got in the way. The common things that happen.

I know many without CPs turn to online critique groups or boards. I've tried that too, but I feel like I have to get my work to some level of polishing before I'll put it out there. But I want someone who can read my brain spew of draft 0 and let me know if they feel I'm on the right track or not before I spend tons of time editing and revising.

There seem to be so many things to worry about too, especially when you only know people online. What if you start sharing work with someone but it just isn't working. How do you end it without being a bitch? There's also the concern of sharing work with someone in the same genre and purposely or accidentally absorbing the other persons ideas. It probably doesn't happen often, but I've seen several horror stories on loops about that. What if you're not sure you would be a good CP yourself? I know I'm not sure. Do I have what it takes to spot a sagging middle or to help someone strengthen the likeability of the hero? I have no freaking clue.

I would love to find one or two people to build that bond with. A CP that I can talk to and say, "I've got an idea. This is what I'm thinking, but I'm struggling with this. What do you think?" And they may have ideas I never thought of. And visa versa.

I would like to make a connection with someone while we pursue our writing careers. Someone to share the ups and downs. Help with looking over those first three chapters one more time before sending them to a requesting agent. Or consoling over the woes of the latest rejection.

I think the best thing for me to do is just keep meeting people online and eventually I'll find that one (or two) person who could be a critique partner, and friend.

Those of you who have CPs, I would love to hear how you found them. How long did you look for them? What works with your relationship? Those who don't have CPs, how do you go about finding them?