Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Watch your language people!

Not profanity, no. I don't mind that. It's the repetitive language in romance novels, the kind that sticks out in your mind and makes you take pause when you read it again and again. Sometimes this comes in the form of purple prose. I know when I read too many "his throbbing sword of passion aimed right toward my velvet petals of desire," I tend to second guess my interest in the book. Sidenote: I haven't read that sentence in a book, but I vow I will find a way to work in to the one I'm working on ;-)

I thought of this rant for today because of several books I've read lately. They are all from the same series. I love the author, I love the books, but the repetitive language has me taken pause dozens of times in each book. I'm tired of reading the same phrases over and over. I feel like the creativity of the language is gone, almost like it's a list of phrases that are inserted rather than organic writing.

Here are examples of some phrasing that is used over and over in the books:
  • velvet sheath
  • rippling muscles
  • molten fire in his eyes
  • lightening sizzling and arcing across the sky
  • spilling breasts
  • tongues of fire lapping over her body

I knew to watch for purple prose, but I don't consider the above purple prose. It's some nice phrasing that's used too often. When I say too often, I mean at least once a chapter in each book (approximately).

Part of it comes from reading these books back to back so these phrases stick out more. But it's becoming increasingly difficult to keep reading because some of the scenes feel formulaic with the repetitive phrasing.

I know that when a love scene comes up, I'm going to know his eyes are molten, lightening will strike, her velvet sheath will pulsate and tongues of fire will be a-lapping. It takes some of the fun and fantasy away.

But, I will still read books from this author because I love the plots and characters. They are just becoming slightly less enjoyable.

I know that when my book is finished, I'm going to find a fresh person to read it - just looking for repetitive language like this. I don't want to take any chances.

1 comment:

Elisabeth Naughton said...

ROFL. I always seem to clamp on to one word per manuscript that I use to death. CPs are great for catching those repetitions.

I don't know what happens in the professional editing stage, but I know a lot of big authors don't use critique partners - just editors - and maybe they're overlooking things because, well, they're only human? I know I just finished a book and one line said "he moved forward." Then the next line said, "She stepped forward to join him." I'm like, huh, my CPs would catch that right away - the repetitive use of the word "forward". Another thing that irked me (and this is a big, HUGE, famous author) is the use of repetitive phrases for different characters. For example, the heroine in this book was known to say "Oh, for God's sake." And then later in the book the hero started saying it...and then the villain! The hero? Yeah, um, I guess I could kinda see that because they hung around together (although that's really stretching it), but the villain? He was never even around the heroine!

I think the more we write and try to catch these repetitions in our own writing, the more we catch them in others' writing. There are things now I notice in books that I never even picked up on before I was serious about writing my own stuff.