Tag, I'm it

Thanks for the tag Karmela :-)

Man, this was hard to think of.

1. A song by the first band you liked:
Anything by the Monkees. Davy Jones, *sigh*

2. A song that makes you think of your best friend:
Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Nobody rocks the house when that song comes on like the Stanimal, baby.

3. A song by the first band you saw in concert:
I know I saw several bands when I was a wee one in concert, but this is the first concert I really remember. New Kids on the Block, the song is Step by Step. I remember driving from Portland to Seattle. All the other girls had painted stuff on their cars and would flash the universal peace sign to each other up I-5. It was rad.

4. A song that reminds you of college/school:
College Girls are Easy by Easy E. I think that's who sings it. I thought that song was hilarious, I blasted it from my stereo on my dorm room as my first taste of rebellion.

5. A song that makes you think of a boyfriend/girl (love) past or present:
I Knew I Loved You by Savage Garden.

I tag:
Elisabeth Naughton
Piper Lee
Paty Yager

Studmuffin of the day

This gorgeous specimen of a man goes against my "type" in so many ways. But, I still can't get enough of him on Supernatural (great show, by the way). He's tough, but sincere. A smart ass, but caring. He would fit the bill of an alpha pretty well I think. Maybe I'll use him for inspiration in an upcoming book. There's a lot to work with!

Jensen Ackles















Is there anyone you love who goes against your traditional type?

Watch your language people!

Not profanity, no. I don't mind that. It's the repetitive language in romance novels, the kind that sticks out in your mind and makes you take pause when you read it again and again. Sometimes this comes in the form of purple prose. I know when I read too many "his throbbing sword of passion aimed right toward my velvet petals of desire," I tend to second guess my interest in the book. Sidenote: I haven't read that sentence in a book, but I vow I will find a way to work in to the one I'm working on ;-)

I thought of this rant for today because of several books I've read lately. They are all from the same series. I love the author, I love the books, but the repetitive language has me taken pause dozens of times in each book. I'm tired of reading the same phrases over and over. I feel like the creativity of the language is gone, almost like it's a list of phrases that are inserted rather than organic writing.

Here are examples of some phrasing that is used over and over in the books:

• velvet sheath
• rippling muscles
• molten fire in his eyes
• lightening sizzling and arcing across the sky
• spilling breasts
• tongues of fire lapping over her body

I knew to watch for purple prose, but I don't consider the above purple prose. It's some nice phrasing that's used too often. When I say too often, I mean at least once a chapter in each book (approximately).

Part of it comes from reading these books back to back so these phrases stick out more. But it's becoming increasingly difficult to keep reading because some of the scenes feel formulaic with the repetitive phrasing.

I know that when a love scene comes up, I'm going to know his eyes are molten, lightening will strike, her velvet sheath will pulsate and tongues of fire will be a-lapping. It takes some of the fun and fantasy away.

But, I will still read books from this author because I love the plots and characters. They are just becoming slightly less enjoyable.

I know that when my book is finished, I'm going to find a fresh person to read it - just looking for repetitive language like this. I don't want to take any chances.

Writing progress

Do you want the good news or bad news?

Let's get the worst of it done then. According to the schedule I gave myself last month, I should be waaaaaaay closer to the end than I am. I wanted to have a solid draft done before RWA for agent/editor appointments. But, I didn't get an appointment. However, I hope to do a walk-up pitch - if I can grow the cajones. So - need to get crack-a-lackin.

The good news is I began incorporating the contest feedback yesterday. I hope to have that finished up today so I can send it off to a wonderful person who offered to rip it apart. Thank you! :-) Ripping apart is good, that's the only way to make it better. A friend of mine thinks I'm crazy for wanting someone to tell me what's wrong with it. But as I told her, I'd rather hear it from someone critiquing me than an agent or editor and get rejected.

I still hope to have a good draft by RWA. I'm going to have a lot more free time pretty soon. In the meantime, I'm trying to work out some plot kinks and do a little outlining. I'm taking part in an online plot workshop right now. I'll let y'all know how it goes once it's over.

I'm also reading lots of articles on showing vs. telling. That's a weakness of mine. I'm a big teller.

Here's the big countdown folks: 42 days until I leave for RWA Nationals. I signed up to work the registration table all day Wednesday, so hopefully I'll meet those of you I only know online.

I will leave you today with a pearl of my wisdom, savor it as it may be my last: I became a writer so I could tell. If I wanted to show, wouldn't I be a painter?

I'm back...and got my first contest scores

Wow...I didn't realize it's been this long since my last post. It's not out of laziness, I assure you. Things in life have taken me away to other, more personal things. But I'm back on the schedule, or will be tomorrow :-)

A few days ago I got my scores for the first contest I entered. I entered it for feedback and to get a feel for whether or not people like my voice. I always figured that fixing problems with plot, pacing and characters is more attainable than changing my natural voice.

Luckily, the two who reviewed me liked my voice. I had other problems, but I expected that. One person gave me 121/150. The other gave me 90/150. I was actually very proud of myself. I didn't feel depressed or upset about my scores, I was more excited about some of the comments. Maybe I'm in a weird emotional place or something because I fully expected to throw myself over the balcony or something with some criticism.

Maybe I have thick skin after all. That's a very exciting revelation. It could stem from the fact that I write in my day job too. I never thought about that until I began writing this.

This contest gave a nicely detailed grading sheet. So does the other one I entered, but I'm still waiting for those results. That was one of the reasons I entered both of them, more bang for my buck.

The biggest problem I had was reading the comments. I haven't written cursive much, so reading it is somewhat difficult. I can only make out about half the comments on one judging because of the cursive. I'll probably bring it to my next RWA meeting for some help in deciphering :-)

So here are some of the comments I received - in case any of you have never entered a contest and are curious about the types of feedback.

From 121/150 scorer

• Lots of passive (I thought I had done well in eliminating most of that, back to the drawing board)
• Lots of strong images (I thought I did a poor job in that area, nice to know someone disagreed)
• Good sense of heroine, not so good sense of hero (I'm writing in first person in the heroine's voice, so getting a good sense of the hero right away without dialogue will be tough)
• Dialogue a little awkward and formal (and I thought I was too casual)
• Good balance of action and narrative so far (woohoo!)
• Five senses aren't present (that one I knew, need to work on it)
• Strong voice/original voice in writing (yessssssss! I knew my odd sense of humor would pay off!)
• They are going to be pretty hot (that surprised me most of all, I thought my sexual tension wasn't believeable and was lacking, I may be on the right track)
• Love the premise in the synopsis (oh yeah, baby!)

From 90/150 scorer (I couldn't read many of the comments because of cursive, back to school for me)

• The heroine comes off very (?-can't read the cursive - I think it says nosey or manly) in this segment. (the judge marked know when asked if they liked the hero/heroine, ouch, got to work on that)
• I think you've got a great plot (why thank you kindly)
• You're dialogue is very witty and amusing (stop, you're making me blush)
• I really struggled to get a mental picture as I was reading this (done with the flattery, eh?)
• Way too much backstory and telling (I agree with the telling part, I struggle with that, but I thought I did a good job of diving into the conflict and weaving in details throughout)
• Your strengths are your plot and humorous dialogue, work on pacing and description (will do)

And now that I'm thinking about these comments, I'm not obsessing over the criticism and suggestions. Rather, I'm saying to myself - "They like my voice! They think I'm witty and humorous! I wanted to come across as witty and humorous and it just might be working. Maybe I can be successful as a funny, paranormal writer after all. Woohoo!" Then I remember that I have to actually finish the damn thing.

Moral of the story is contests can be a good thing if you pull out what you want and discard the rest. They can help confirm what you thought was or wasn't working. And, if you have pretty stationary like I do, you can use it for thank you cards.